Humiliating Cardinal Mason’s shit copy

Yo (firstname),

So Ima paste the copy here and leave a review under each line.

Here it is: (warning, even reading this could make you worse)

SL: (firstname) you prob don’t believe this

Right, starting off the 💩 headline… What a surprise! 😂

This is something called poor man’s intrigue, which I explain here.

Also, why isn’t this guy fully typing out probably?

(Maybe because he doesn’t know how to spell it)

PV: nothing 

Prob doesn’t even know how to use it

Kinda touched on this during the free class but... 

Yeah yeah, I know he has a personal brand so he can get away with this typa stuff but, he should have another line above this kinda giving some back story.

Because the formatting is 💩 rn.

He just broke his line in a random place and called it a day.

(I think he did that because he doesn’t want the opening line to be too long, that’s why I suggest to add a line above)

You have to believe that there is another world out there. 

Honestly this angle isn’t the worst thing in the world, but did he really come up with this?

Or was it AI…

There IS a world out there where you wake up most days absolutely stoked to work... I live in it. 

No one gives a 💩 if you live in it.

Take that out, it’s ruining the flow.

There IS a world where you have everything you've dreamed of... I live in it. 

Cap…

Do you have peace of mind?

Anyways, he needs to be more descriptive.

Do some market research buddy, most of us just want to leave job/school. 

There IS a world where you think about the future and genuinely get chills at what you're gonna accomplish over the next 10 years because you're so confident in your abilities... I know this, because I live in it. 

This could’ve hit hard if he wasn’t yapping.

Like bro idk about u guys but I’ve already got that.

And even if I didn’t, it’s so abstract that I probably wouldn’t give much attention to it.

Use ai for market research… not to shit out your copy.

So... what's the difference between the world you live in, and the world I live in?

Absolutely nothing. 

The transition is a bit rocky (minimal, but it’s not seamless), but these lines are good.

They’re hitting the easy emotion.

I’m just some regular dude and I live in the same world as you… so you can do it as well.

We live on the same planet.

Have the same 24 hours in a day. 

Have access to the same opportunities. 

Cap.

Depending on where you live, who you know, and a 💩 load of other things…

We’re not all equal.

(Not complaining, just saying he could’ve used a better example)

The biggest transformation I see with Inner Circle students (besides their income) is their beliefs. 

Bro 💀 this transition is 🐕 💩.

It’s so obvious this guy is about to basically pitch me.

Honestly he needs to work on transitions

I see someone show up on Day 1 of coaching calls, maybe they're a bit shy and don't have a ton of questions. 

A month in, they found a client.. bit more confidence. Smiling more. Making some money. They believe they're capable of more. 

Who gives a 🥀 if they’re shy or not…

I want to know, are they broke like me?

Are they the same as me?

Money? That’s it? Are they happy with they’re life?

Did they quit their job?

If so can I do the same?

These are the typa questions most of Cardinals audience willl have.

Handful of clients, and I get that "Bro, I made $_____ this month... I can't believe it." 

I know what he’s talking about know but I was confused for a sec because his flow and grammar are both 🏳️‍🌈

That's the best. 

Fluff.

And genuinely, that's what I want for you. 

I don’t give a 💩 what you want for me.

You know what you also want from me?

My money.

I want this to be the 'inflection point' of your entrepreneurship journey. 

I want you to think back to the free class and think about how those couple hours you spent were the beginning of your real 'come up'. 

But more than anything... 

I wanna get that "Bro... I made $_____ this month" message from YOU. 

I just need you to take the first step.

Hop on that application call for IC and let's get to work. Messages like this are in your future.

Honestly those lines aren’t the worst.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the best copy in the world…

But is not bad.

STREAK: 33

P.S. LOCK IN, here’s your tasks:

• Don’t write like this

questions r welcomed