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Hey {{first_name|bro}},
SL: Your desk is destroying your back.
PV: Here's why...
Eh, it’s alright but the desk isn’t the one destroying their back… it’s their chair/posture.
The desk actually has nothing to do with this.
It’s like saying “your shoes are making you fat.”
SL: Your back is killing your confidence…
PV: Avoid this…
I’m already sensing a bit of shite copy discipline (we’ll see)
SL: NEVER get a back surgery...
PV: This is a warning.
Dawg this isn’t good advice. We’ll see the email tho.
BODY:
Hey %FIRSTNAME%,
If you’re slouching on your desk for 3-8 hours a day, I've got some bad news…
Think about these years when your back pain made work shifts and school feel longer and more annoying than it is.
“Think” doesn’t flow well with this.
Bro I don’t think that’s the problem their facing and its definitely not the main problem their facing.
It didn’t come suddenly.
Bad flow
Sitting with poor posture for long periods leads to dangerous spinal issues and scary surgeries.
While this is kinda true, you’re over exxargratting it and it sounds like AI
How did we switch from making school feel longer to back surgiery?
Bro get your ICP right
No matter the age, no one is safe from this…
Take my grandpa for example,
Back when he was in college, he was suffering from a mild back pain due to being hunched all the time, and he kept ignoring it…
Make this more intresting no one cares
30 years later, he got spinal curvature, nerve pain, and costly physiotherapy.
Don’t use fancy medidical terms, I want tagable consquences
He had 2 back surgeries, and he still can’t get up from bed at just 59 years old.
But the best part? You don’t have to end up like him.
The best part of your grandpa being bed ridden??
With the Posture Corrector Brace, you can actually prevent all of that starting today.
What about reversing it?? Your audinece isn’t going to be 20 year olds who sit at their desk
It’s gonna be people like your grandpa
This simple and soft brace helps:
Align your spine naturally within 2 weeks
Boost your energy and productivity at work. (no more annoying work shifts)
Gain your confidence back.
Save you from wasting thousands on treatments later.
WHAT ABOUT THE PAIN???
Do your research bro these bullets are trash
And you completely abandoned the school thing (it should’ve have been there anyway)
But here’s the catch…
We only have around 200 units in stock this month.
And once they’re gone, it’ll be 5 weeks before we can restock.
So, instead of waiting,
Get your Posture Corrector Brace before September 9th, and get a 50% discount!
Write full senteces bro.
Here’s what it can do:
Didn’t you already say what it can do?
Reduces back and neck pain by easing pressure on muscles and spine.
Make this more tangible
Provides instant alignment support → reminds the body to sit/stand straighter.
Trains muscle memory → over time, the body naturally adjusts to better posture.
Boosts confidence → standing tall makes people appear more attractive, authoritative, and self-assured.
Affordable prevention → avoids expensive chiropractor sessions or medical costs later.
AI ahh trash bullets
Do reserach don’t use AI
Or else… Say bye to your back :(
Bro this is trash don’t say that shi.
You think some 60 year old with horrible back pain wants to hear about how their back is going to be “gone”
– Sign off
P.S: We only do discounts 3 times a year, make sure you don’t miss this one ;)
Stop using these emojis it doesn’t fit for your audinece
FINAL NOTES: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do reserach and write in a way that connects with your ICP
The reason this email is trash is because you haven’t done good research
No hate, brother. Hope you learned something
—John
S: 167
T: rreply w yours