My $10,000+ Christmas Gift To You

There’s something I haven’t been able to do this week because I’ve been busy and such but I’d really like to get back into and I think you should too.

That’s cold calls.

And i get it, I hate em as much as the next guy… I really do.

But that’s also why I love em.

Kinda like a crazy ex ya know?

The truth of the matter is: cold calls are my golden fucking ticket to willy wankas chocolate factory.

In lame mans terms…

Nobody, not even your mother’s brother’s sister’s weird boyfriend is even thinking about cold calls let alone has got the balls to pick up that "petrifying" phone and start dialing.

Reason why is simple, we’re in the age of pussies.

Everyone gets a participation trophy…

Competition is looked down on…

And being a masculine man in 2025 (now 2026) is basically a sin in society's book.

But you know what I say?

Fuck society.

Society is overwhelmingly broke, shitty, and wrong. So why would you listen to them, eh?

You what I say, why don’t you, right now, grow a pair of balls, splash some water on your face, grab a few leads, and start dialing yourself?

You wanna make money am I right?

Change your life?

Well you’re not going to do it by being a twat head, sat on your ass, reading dipshit emails all day.

“You’re not Andrew Tate bro.”

You’re right.

I’m not Andrew Tate.

I’m Copy fucking John and I am your direct competion. And guess what motherfucker, I’m winning right now.

Only way for you to stand a chance?

Pick up the phone or sit down, shut up, and let me win.

Let me know how many calls you made… or don’t, and stay a bitch. Your choice, your life.

Don’t live with regret… pick up the phone.

Your winning competetion,

Copy “fucking” John

P.S. It’s not “too late”

It’s always 8 am somewhere, I don’t care if you have to speak fucking french, pick up phone and start composer des numéros.

P.P.S Pardon my french?

Pardon your fucking self.

If you don’t like my cussing, get the fuck off my list (there’s a special button at the bottom just for you)

If you do want to make some cold calls…

Good.

You’re a real man (or women I don’t discriminate)

I don’t care if you’re white, black, indian, hate me, love me… I want you to listen to these next four words…

You are broke… DIAL.

As the great Jordan Belfort said:

“So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on your credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich!”

I hope this wake up call prompted you to take that massive stick, out your ass, and start dialing.

And I hope you’re prompting your AI to make cold calls 10x easier.

If you’re not, check this out: 

AI has changed how consumers shop by speeding up research. But one thing hasn’t changed: shoppers still trust people more than AI.

Levanta’s new Affiliate 3.0 Consumer Report reveals a major shift in how shoppers blend AI tools with human influence. Consumers use AI to explore options, but when it comes time to buy, they still turn to creators, communities, and real experiences to validate their decisions.

The data shows:

The most effective brands are combining AI discovery with authentic human influence to drive measurable conversions.

Affiliate marketing isn’t being replaced by AI, it’s being amplified by it.

Download the full report to see what this means for your brand.