In partnership with
Yo
I would take a selfie to show you guys but I don’t want a picture of me looking like a dried-up raisin on the internet
anyways I just finished work
All I’ve got to do is this email
And recently, people have been asking me…
“John, how are you so productive?” (and handsome, and humble, and good at copywriting, and get all the girls)
ok maybe not ALL of those but let me explain how to be productive:
Don’t be.
I am a loser video game addict at heart and there’s probably nothing that will ever change that.
I’m actually currently addicted to this really good video game at the moment.
It’s called…
WORK!
Look, here’s the hard part that you can’t really do if you don’t have it bad enough:
You have to cut out REAL video games, social media, and whatever else is sucking you dry (of your time… dirty-minded fuc)
Then, when you’ve got nothing to do… you’ll want to work.
And if you somehow mess up and end up going back to video games, social media, or… dog pictures?… (kinda weird bro)
then you’re a massive pussy bitch loser cunt.
And instead of thinking that ^ and then, while scrolling, thinking, “no no no! stop! I HAVE to get this massive campaign done super quick even though it’s super complicated and i really don’t want to d……..
OH!
look at that it’s a dog doing a backflip.”
THINK…
“If i just complete this really easy campaign now, I’ll be set for the rest of the week.”
or that hot babe down the road will finally notice me
JUST SOMETHING other than “man I should probably go and do that SUPER HARD AND ANNOYING TASK right now.”
hope this helped
Or actually I hope that you send $45
fuck the help part
give me the money 💯
(or… if you can’t afford that *cough,* BROKIE *cough,* you can do me a TINY favor by sending this to some lazy cunt.)
You know what…
bet whoever you send this to that you’ll give them $5 if they can read the whole thing.
And then when they ask for the money, just say no. 😂
If you’re that person who got sent this email SIGN UP NOW or stay a fat LOSER the rest of your life.
(not recommended)
Copy John
P.S. if you’re NOT one of those fat losers…
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See for yourself:
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